Have you ever loved someone or something? Have you ever loved someone or something so much you were willing to give your life for them? How are we to understand something that is yet to be defined, how can we really say we love someone one moment and then say you hate them the next. We can not as humans possibly understand what love really is, let alone Agape love.
Lets consider this, if we say we love someone and we are willing to die for them, then how can we hate? Hate becomes anger, anger becomes many other things.
Agape Love is a love like no other, it's guilt free, there is no hate, no anger, no suspicions. This is the type of love God has for us. Whether we accept it or not. A few years ago I read the story below, I am reposting here for those of you who read my blog.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Exit Strategy
Do you have an exit strategy in place? I pray you do. Ever have the feeling something bad is about to happen and there is nothing YOU can do to prevent it? I was recently listening to some stories of airplane crash survivors, and they all seemed to experience time slowing down, their lives being flashed before their eyes, some even saying they saw their loved ones weeping for them.
Most crisis counselors will try and explain that death is a natural part of life. However they fall short in explaining why it is a part of life. I think some would have a hard time explaining life let alone death. But this isn't a soapbox to speak about these counselors or brow beat them, for most part they do a great service to those in crisis.
Death is a part of life because it is our penalty for sin. Pure and simple as that. We sinned, our parents sinned, grandparents sinned, everyone has, there is no one of this world today that is blameless or without sin. So yes, everyone is convicted and must face physical death.
Okay why physical death you might be asking, because their are two types of death. Physical and spiritual death. One comes when we die of whatever cause, old age, cancer, accident, whatever. The other will be coming when the world is judged. We are warned in several places throughout the bible that this day is also coming, we will all answer for our sins.
There is a chance for redemption, but it comes in this world while we are still living, it can not and does not come once we are physically dead. I don't want you to believe what you want, I would love you to believe in the truth, the light of the world, the great I AM, our lord and savior, the one who died on the cross for you and for me, his death does not give you a pass or variance or even a do over.
His death gives us the opportunity to accept the truth, the only way to come to the father is through him. Without his forgiveness for our sins, there is no chance of reaching heaven, without him there is no hope of eternal life, without him there is no exit strategy.
We often speak of the concequences, but not so much about his endless amount of love he has for us. This God of ours does not hate us, he loves us like nothing we can define in websters or the wikipedia. We have no words to describe it, they fall way short.
If you are looking for your exit strategy, or even thinking it is too late, you are wrong, there is nothing he will not forgive us of, name the deed, it does not matter, we all have hope through his son Jesus who offered himself up for that freedom that is ours to have, no gimmicks here and if you have been saved but sinned, that's okay, there is hope through reflection and redemption through repent.
Do not be confused by imitators who seem all IT, or the latest craze of beliefs in something or someone other than God. Our God the one and true God, does not place demand anything of us. He wants us to accept his love, that is all.
If you feel your life is in peril, then maybe it is, maybe it's time to search for a solution to that feeling of pending doom, maybe it's time to accept Jesus Christ as your savior, stop running from the truth, know who you are, I AM A SINNER, HOWEVER I AM FORGIVEN THROUGH THE SHEDDING OF OUR LORD AND SAVIORS BLOOD ON MY BEHALF. I AM FORGIVEN.
Most crisis counselors will try and explain that death is a natural part of life. However they fall short in explaining why it is a part of life. I think some would have a hard time explaining life let alone death. But this isn't a soapbox to speak about these counselors or brow beat them, for most part they do a great service to those in crisis.
Death is a part of life because it is our penalty for sin. Pure and simple as that. We sinned, our parents sinned, grandparents sinned, everyone has, there is no one of this world today that is blameless or without sin. So yes, everyone is convicted and must face physical death.
Okay why physical death you might be asking, because their are two types of death. Physical and spiritual death. One comes when we die of whatever cause, old age, cancer, accident, whatever. The other will be coming when the world is judged. We are warned in several places throughout the bible that this day is also coming, we will all answer for our sins.
There is a chance for redemption, but it comes in this world while we are still living, it can not and does not come once we are physically dead. I don't want you to believe what you want, I would love you to believe in the truth, the light of the world, the great I AM, our lord and savior, the one who died on the cross for you and for me, his death does not give you a pass or variance or even a do over.
His death gives us the opportunity to accept the truth, the only way to come to the father is through him. Without his forgiveness for our sins, there is no chance of reaching heaven, without him there is no hope of eternal life, without him there is no exit strategy.
We often speak of the concequences, but not so much about his endless amount of love he has for us. This God of ours does not hate us, he loves us like nothing we can define in websters or the wikipedia. We have no words to describe it, they fall way short.
If you are looking for your exit strategy, or even thinking it is too late, you are wrong, there is nothing he will not forgive us of, name the deed, it does not matter, we all have hope through his son Jesus who offered himself up for that freedom that is ours to have, no gimmicks here and if you have been saved but sinned, that's okay, there is hope through reflection and redemption through repent.
Do not be confused by imitators who seem all IT, or the latest craze of beliefs in something or someone other than God. Our God the one and true God, does not place demand anything of us. He wants us to accept his love, that is all.
If you feel your life is in peril, then maybe it is, maybe it's time to search for a solution to that feeling of pending doom, maybe it's time to accept Jesus Christ as your savior, stop running from the truth, know who you are, I AM A SINNER, HOWEVER I AM FORGIVEN THROUGH THE SHEDDING OF OUR LORD AND SAVIORS BLOOD ON MY BEHALF. I AM FORGIVEN.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Who's Listening to You?
I used to wonder if anyone was really listening or reading these posts, then along came Mr. Reasoning...
I believe people are listening to others all the time, whether they pay any attention to them is another matter, but for the most part I guess this makes us all nosey in one way or another, whether it is reading blogs, posts to some social media page, listening in on those obnoxious cell phone calls or watching one of the many nosey body TV shows that flood the airwaves these days.
I say this all while convicting myself of being guilty of being addicted to feedback, those comments left by you, the readers of this blog...and the also the friends from my ever beloved facebook pages...who knew...
For the most part I am content with people reading these posts on here, praying that they have a positive effect on the readers of them or perhaps help shape ideas on how to help others, since paying it forward is really what is important. Without influence, where would we be...set in stone I suppose.
Back to the purpose of this posting, below are the stats I received from Mr. Reasoning. Presented to me to prove that we all matter, especially those moved to write and post stories so that others may be helped, or influenced, shown that there is a mighty God, one who loves us, promises us eternal life and the forgiveness of our sins. No tricks, no gimmicks, no fee's to pay, no membership forms, no one judging you, no one to make an appointment with.
Just you and him, know that we are all convicted of our sins, the punishment is death, be assured we will all die at some point. The question is whether you ask to be forgiven for those sins, accept the Christ Jesus in your heart as your lord and savior and let them be your personal mentor.
For those of you who have read these posts, I find this one just as important, because I believe wholeheartedly that these words are meant for you to read, I did not write them for my own pleasure or ego, they are meant to impress you that God's love is everlasting, he has a purpose for you as he has for me... may his comfort and love for you be with you today where ever you may be....
I believe people are listening to others all the time, whether they pay any attention to them is another matter, but for the most part I guess this makes us all nosey in one way or another, whether it is reading blogs, posts to some social media page, listening in on those obnoxious cell phone calls or watching one of the many nosey body TV shows that flood the airwaves these days.
I say this all while convicting myself of being guilty of being addicted to feedback, those comments left by you, the readers of this blog...and the also the friends from my ever beloved facebook pages...who knew...
For the most part I am content with people reading these posts on here, praying that they have a positive effect on the readers of them or perhaps help shape ideas on how to help others, since paying it forward is really what is important. Without influence, where would we be...set in stone I suppose.
Back to the purpose of this posting, below are the stats I received from Mr. Reasoning. Presented to me to prove that we all matter, especially those moved to write and post stories so that others may be helped, or influenced, shown that there is a mighty God, one who loves us, promises us eternal life and the forgiveness of our sins. No tricks, no gimmicks, no fee's to pay, no membership forms, no one judging you, no one to make an appointment with.
Just you and him, know that we are all convicted of our sins, the punishment is death, be assured we will all die at some point. The question is whether you ask to be forgiven for those sins, accept the Christ Jesus in your heart as your lord and savior and let them be your personal mentor.
For those of you who have read these posts, I find this one just as important, because I believe wholeheartedly that these words are meant for you to read, I did not write them for my own pleasure or ego, they are meant to impress you that God's love is everlasting, he has a purpose for you as he has for me... may his comfort and love for you be with you today where ever you may be....
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Saturday, September 1, 2012
Church
First off, nothing is perfect, save one thing, God's love for us and the sacrifice his son made upon our behalf.
In the past few months I have had the displeasure of have to find another church to attend Sunday Worship. While not unique, the question and argument most will make is no church is perfect, true, I agree. However somethings should be, such as our love for one another, it should exhibit some of the same qualities Jesus had for mankind.
There in lies part of the issues with some churches. Sunday mornings should be more about LOVE, than anything else. We should feel great leaving church, knowing he is ultimately in control. Knowing we are not alone as sinners in a foreign world.
How often that excitement, that feeling of joy is smashed before we get to the car, or sometimes before we even leave the pews. How is it that some can take themselves to a level reserved for the king. How righteous they are, how sadden it is to see them piously pressing the flesh, doing more harm than good by leading some to slaughter.
Trying not to be an adjudicator, but a forgiver and a lover of the word, not the man or woman speaking the word. Just as I am confused by how some can be saved, namely myself, I am confused how God could ever love someone like that. But he does, so where does that place me. A doubting Thomas?
Church for me at least is not suspecting false teachings, I spent the first half of my life listening to that, I'd like to think I can differentiate between the two. I'll close this rant by exposing again my vulnerability of being a sinner in a lonely and desolate place, called earth. Sometimes the journey we find ourselves on is not really our journey but someone else's.
Be brave enough to find yourselves on the outs and not duped into believing man's word over God's word. Stay firm in your convictions and in your faith. Peace to you all.
In the past few months I have had the displeasure of have to find another church to attend Sunday Worship. While not unique, the question and argument most will make is no church is perfect, true, I agree. However somethings should be, such as our love for one another, it should exhibit some of the same qualities Jesus had for mankind.
There in lies part of the issues with some churches. Sunday mornings should be more about LOVE, than anything else. We should feel great leaving church, knowing he is ultimately in control. Knowing we are not alone as sinners in a foreign world.
How often that excitement, that feeling of joy is smashed before we get to the car, or sometimes before we even leave the pews. How is it that some can take themselves to a level reserved for the king. How righteous they are, how sadden it is to see them piously pressing the flesh, doing more harm than good by leading some to slaughter.
Trying not to be an adjudicator, but a forgiver and a lover of the word, not the man or woman speaking the word. Just as I am confused by how some can be saved, namely myself, I am confused how God could ever love someone like that. But he does, so where does that place me. A doubting Thomas?
Church for me at least is not suspecting false teachings, I spent the first half of my life listening to that, I'd like to think I can differentiate between the two. I'll close this rant by exposing again my vulnerability of being a sinner in a lonely and desolate place, called earth. Sometimes the journey we find ourselves on is not really our journey but someone else's.
Be brave enough to find yourselves on the outs and not duped into believing man's word over God's word. Stay firm in your convictions and in your faith. Peace to you all.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
In my fathers foot prints
I've felt I was walking in his footsteps, even though I wear bigger size shoes than he did now, I still see myself in his shadow. I think most of us feel the same way. My dad died in 1995, 50 yrs after marrying my mom, raising 10 kids, working against the odds for most of his adult life. Good thing he worked for good ol Chef Boyardee'
My dad was what I always hoped to be, I used him as an example of what I should be as a Husband and father should be to my girls. Even though I am not him and I did not always stay on the right path, I almost always walked in his footsteps.
I am certain he would have approved on this logic. A cross between a hard working white color computer programming supervisor and a local produce farmer. We must have driven him crazy with tearing up cars, causing him numerous nights without sleep, constant worry, always there to lend support, fair minded and even tempered man.
If you goofed up, just admit your mistake or what you did and move on and try not to make the same mistake again. Never shy, stood his ground on many issues, not always popular and almost never politically correct, you could be in a crowded room and he would make you feel as if there was only the two of you speaking. Never looked down at anyone.
My example for you here today is about a son of a man, who never had a man in his life. My grandfather was killed when my dad was 7 hrs old, around 1925 in upstate New York while cutting lumber. I am humbled to be known as his son, grateful to be the second youngest of five boys, changed forever being given the chance to pray with him nightly when he was dying of cancer, never fearful, always following in his foot prints... Love you and miss you Dad hard to believe it's been 17 yrs. Your son....Jim
My dad was what I always hoped to be, I used him as an example of what I should be as a Husband and father should be to my girls. Even though I am not him and I did not always stay on the right path, I almost always walked in his footsteps.
I am certain he would have approved on this logic. A cross between a hard working white color computer programming supervisor and a local produce farmer. We must have driven him crazy with tearing up cars, causing him numerous nights without sleep, constant worry, always there to lend support, fair minded and even tempered man.
If you goofed up, just admit your mistake or what you did and move on and try not to make the same mistake again. Never shy, stood his ground on many issues, not always popular and almost never politically correct, you could be in a crowded room and he would make you feel as if there was only the two of you speaking. Never looked down at anyone.
My example for you here today is about a son of a man, who never had a man in his life. My grandfather was killed when my dad was 7 hrs old, around 1925 in upstate New York while cutting lumber. I am humbled to be known as his son, grateful to be the second youngest of five boys, changed forever being given the chance to pray with him nightly when he was dying of cancer, never fearful, always following in his foot prints... Love you and miss you Dad hard to believe it's been 17 yrs. Your son....Jim
Friday, May 4, 2012
Don't cry for Me
I watched a friend and co-worker say goodbye to his friend and wife today. Sad to see someone who a few weeks ago was thinking of anything, but seeing his wife die in his arms as he tried to get her dressed to the emergency room for shortness of breath.
Reeling from what could he had done differently, anything to change the outcome. Nothing. Nothing more he could of done.
"Love you to all the numbers" is how she was remembered, numbers both being positive and negative. God loves us when we are both negative and positive as well.
I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
-- Psalm 121, NKJV
Our hope lay in the blood and resurection of Jesus Christ. She was not cheated of life, but given eternal life. Better to be prepared when the master comes....
Reeling from what could he had done differently, anything to change the outcome. Nothing. Nothing more he could of done.
"Love you to all the numbers" is how she was remembered, numbers both being positive and negative. God loves us when we are both negative and positive as well.
I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel neither slumber nor sleep.
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.
He shall preserve your soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.
Our hope lay in the blood and resurection of Jesus Christ. She was not cheated of life, but given eternal life. Better to be prepared when the master comes....
Friday, April 27, 2012
The Inconvenient Life
Being conceived
should never be considered a crime punishable by death; neither should the
government be involved in the murder of the innocent. We are a society of laws;
some may actually be based on truths while others are based on inconvenience.
Interestingly enough that there are even conflicting laws, we protect the life of the unborn child from acts of violence of 60 or so laws, but neglect the same child under provisions that their birth is inconvenient to the would be parents, based on the presumptions that it is up to the would be mother to give or cease the same life, we even sometimes justify the killing in the case of rape or incest.
Susan was conceived 12 weeks ago. She lays expectantly unaware of the pending decisions that her mother will make in less than 24 hours. She is blameless. Her parents on the other hand, both making the decision to give into the temptation of the flesh, engaged in sexual intercourse, rolled the moral dice and conceived a child.
In less than 24 hours, Susan will lay dead at a doctor’s hand. Who will remain blameless?
Mary is a junior attending college. She is afraid of what her parents might think of her, having struggled financially and placing their house up as collateral for her education, being the only child of her parents carried such high hopes and responsibilities. What would they think of her if she were to tell them she was pregnant?
Joe was a strapping young man a small town kid who was fortunate to find his grades and a talent for sports, good enough to get into the college of his dreams. Just as suddenly as the world seemed full of endless possibilities, the future lay shattered at his feet, along with his hopes of doing something no one else in his family has ever done, graduate college. How could this have happened, we only dated a few times, we were just having fun after all. Aren't there pills to prevent this sort of thing?
Susan lies sleeping inside the womb of her mother, cotton candy fields of clouds, little pink fluffy stuffed toys will never be enjoyed, 18 hours to go.
How could she possibly carry this child and finish her degree in pre-med. becoming the doctor she always dreamed she would be. She promised her grandmother, lying on her bed, weeping as she lay their dying, that she wouldn't let death steal another family member from her life ever again, she would be a doctor and find a cure for cancer. I promise.
Ben couldn’t believe his son; the middle kid in the pack of five was studying to become a lawyer someday. Joe’s lanky frame and talent for math won him a scholarship for baseball and possibilities to exceed any dreams they ever had for him. Ben’s wife Jane almost lost him in the first part of her pregnancy due to some difficulties with her blood pressure. God must be watching over him.
Susan is beginning to wake from her sleep, her mother, Mary is also awake, has been most of the night, unable to sleep having mostly made an important decision, a matter of life or death. Susan is just now 91 days and five hours old. Sixteen hours to go. Mary has some papers to sign. One of her friends is texting her and asking her if she has told Joe about her decision yet?
John and Laura tried for years to conceive a child, both children of the seventies, seems that some of the things they had done as young adults had come home to roost. John had experimented with pot, hash and heroin since his early teens. Laura on the other hand grew up in a tight knit Irish family, she believed in speaking her mind, she didn’t need any man to keep her; she could handle her own affairs after all, but she did like to drink.
John and
Laura met at a friend’s party, John was stoned before he arrived, Laura was
drinking whatever she felt like drinking, having just graduated high school,
possibilities endless. John on the other
hand was going nowhere fast in life, a good looking boy that got him dates but
never a girlfriend as they learned of his destructive habit.
They couldn’t stand one another, but they still managed to survive beyond the first date over the summer of their graduation, Laura will be in school this coming year, a junior college not too far away from home. John was working at the car dealership of his father, detailing cars.
Laura finally gave in to John’s demands and went all the way with him while his mom and dad were out of town, John had the place to himself, Laura could handle herself, she never had any problems standing up to him before, she could always stop him before things got out of hand, right?
Crying, she met John outside the burger place on the corner where they always hung out. She was late and scared to death of what her parents would say. Mortified John was scrambling to think, this is heavy decision, and this is her problem man, not yours. When they were together last, was it really 5 weeks ago?
Recently passed laws meant that she would not have to get anyone’s approval or permission, just go to the clinic, they’d talk to her, give her an exam and then get her set up for the procedure, John borrowed the money from his dad, Be a good boy Johnny, I am going to leave this dealership to you one day…learn to take care of your problems.
John and Laura were wed in a simple ceremony about a year later, both their parents so proud of the way John had cleaned himself up, Laura having taken classes at the local junior college now working in the accounting department for John’s dad, John was the assistant manager for customer service.
Mary met with her friends for coffee; she was scared to tell anyone, let alone Joe or her parents of her decision. This is the sensible thing to do, no one would ever have to know, and I’d just tell Joe I had a miscarriage. He could go on with his life.
Joe’s friends were trying to convince him that this is no big deal man, look it doesn’t have to be your responsibility, after all it’s not like it’s a living thing, just a fetus, there is a free clinic in town, helps college kids like this all the time, aside from the mother filling out papers his name never has to be mentioned. This sort of thing happens, no need bringing an unwanted child into this world, no need to struggle.
Susan is pushing her legs out, stretching; she is growing, oblivious to the events already in motion that will affect her tiny life in just 12 hours. Guiltless yet inconvenient.
Sitting on the side of the bed Laura is crying, had she given away the only chance she ever had at having a baby years ago? They have been trying for over four years now, is this punishment for the decision she made years earlier coming home to roost? Why is God punishing her? They have been going to church, they prayed about it. Is she to blame for all this?
John’s life was going great, finally promoted to Manager of Sales, in five or 10 more years the dealership would be his, why is Laura beating herself up over this, this is what she wanted wasn’t it? We could always adopt couldn’t we? Why can’t we have children?
Jane met Peter while he was stationed with the Army in Belgium. She was a linguist and he was a military policeman. Peter was from a small town in the northeast; Jane’s father was a military man, taking his family with him around the world. Soon they were engaged and Jane was pregnant.
Jane’s father made sure that Peter was a man of his word; he and Jane were married in the base chapel. Peter was going back stateside soon with a wife with one on the way. Soon Peter was making plans to leave the service; both he and Jane made their home not far from where he grew up, there was never any discussion of not having the baby or not getting married.
Medically speaking after her second child, the doctors warned them that any future pregnancies should be considered carefully; Jane had high blood pressure and would most certainly put herself and the baby at risk.
From the onset Jane was ordered on bed rest, she was placed in the high risk category. Pete dismissed this, Jane was a trooper, beside after two girls, and Jane was finally pregnant with a boy. But problems were just starting. Jane was bleeding, doctors feared that the baby would have to be aborted to save Jane, if she started bleeding during delivery they might not get it stopped if she carried to term; the odds were greatly stacked against them.
Pete’s partner at the security firm told him he was praying for them, although other than when they were married Jane and Pete never attended church, their future was in their own hands; life was what they made of it.
Susan’s hips are pressing down again, causing Mary to run to the bathroom for the hundredth time today, Mary cried as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, what was the future going to hold for them?
Joseph Anthony was born on a mild November evening in 1989. He would be the only boy child for Peter and Jane. He would have four sisters, two older and two younger. Joe would be something special his father declared! Just you watch and see.
John and Laura sat in amazement as they each held the tiny hands of their newborn daughter. God must have heard their prayers and given them the child they so long waited for, he had forgiven them for the sin they committed years ago. He was no longer holding them accountable for it.
Susan was causing Laura discomfort, her lower back was paining her something fierce, almost like cramps, what I can expect? How does any woman endure this for 9 months? I wonder how Joe will feel. Should I tell him? No way, this is my body; he would make the same choice if he had to carry this child, right?
In ten hours Susan will be at the center of the attention as she lay there in her mother’s womb, helpless, unarmed, at the mercy of a bitter battle.
The little girl John and Laura held hands with seemed to grow up overnight, one minute holding tea parties with her stuffed animals, the next clinging to her mother’s shoulder as they mourned the loss of her grandmother to cancer. Mary will be a doctor someday, she promised her grandmother.
Interestingly enough that there are even conflicting laws, we protect the life of the unborn child from acts of violence of 60 or so laws, but neglect the same child under provisions that their birth is inconvenient to the would be parents, based on the presumptions that it is up to the would be mother to give or cease the same life, we even sometimes justify the killing in the case of rape or incest.
Susan was conceived 12 weeks ago. She lays expectantly unaware of the pending decisions that her mother will make in less than 24 hours. She is blameless. Her parents on the other hand, both making the decision to give into the temptation of the flesh, engaged in sexual intercourse, rolled the moral dice and conceived a child.
In less than 24 hours, Susan will lay dead at a doctor’s hand. Who will remain blameless?
Mary is a junior attending college. She is afraid of what her parents might think of her, having struggled financially and placing their house up as collateral for her education, being the only child of her parents carried such high hopes and responsibilities. What would they think of her if she were to tell them she was pregnant?
Joe was a strapping young man a small town kid who was fortunate to find his grades and a talent for sports, good enough to get into the college of his dreams. Just as suddenly as the world seemed full of endless possibilities, the future lay shattered at his feet, along with his hopes of doing something no one else in his family has ever done, graduate college. How could this have happened, we only dated a few times, we were just having fun after all. Aren't there pills to prevent this sort of thing?
Susan lies sleeping inside the womb of her mother, cotton candy fields of clouds, little pink fluffy stuffed toys will never be enjoyed, 18 hours to go.
How could she possibly carry this child and finish her degree in pre-med. becoming the doctor she always dreamed she would be. She promised her grandmother, lying on her bed, weeping as she lay their dying, that she wouldn't let death steal another family member from her life ever again, she would be a doctor and find a cure for cancer. I promise.
Ben couldn’t believe his son; the middle kid in the pack of five was studying to become a lawyer someday. Joe’s lanky frame and talent for math won him a scholarship for baseball and possibilities to exceed any dreams they ever had for him. Ben’s wife Jane almost lost him in the first part of her pregnancy due to some difficulties with her blood pressure. God must be watching over him.
Susan is beginning to wake from her sleep, her mother, Mary is also awake, has been most of the night, unable to sleep having mostly made an important decision, a matter of life or death. Susan is just now 91 days and five hours old. Sixteen hours to go. Mary has some papers to sign. One of her friends is texting her and asking her if she has told Joe about her decision yet?
John and Laura tried for years to conceive a child, both children of the seventies, seems that some of the things they had done as young adults had come home to roost. John had experimented with pot, hash and heroin since his early teens. Laura on the other hand grew up in a tight knit Irish family, she believed in speaking her mind, she didn’t need any man to keep her; she could handle her own affairs after all, but she did like to drink.
They couldn’t stand one another, but they still managed to survive beyond the first date over the summer of their graduation, Laura will be in school this coming year, a junior college not too far away from home. John was working at the car dealership of his father, detailing cars.
Laura finally gave in to John’s demands and went all the way with him while his mom and dad were out of town, John had the place to himself, Laura could handle herself, she never had any problems standing up to him before, she could always stop him before things got out of hand, right?
Crying, she met John outside the burger place on the corner where they always hung out. She was late and scared to death of what her parents would say. Mortified John was scrambling to think, this is heavy decision, and this is her problem man, not yours. When they were together last, was it really 5 weeks ago?
Recently passed laws meant that she would not have to get anyone’s approval or permission, just go to the clinic, they’d talk to her, give her an exam and then get her set up for the procedure, John borrowed the money from his dad, Be a good boy Johnny, I am going to leave this dealership to you one day…learn to take care of your problems.
John and Laura were wed in a simple ceremony about a year later, both their parents so proud of the way John had cleaned himself up, Laura having taken classes at the local junior college now working in the accounting department for John’s dad, John was the assistant manager for customer service.
Mary met with her friends for coffee; she was scared to tell anyone, let alone Joe or her parents of her decision. This is the sensible thing to do, no one would ever have to know, and I’d just tell Joe I had a miscarriage. He could go on with his life.
Joe’s friends were trying to convince him that this is no big deal man, look it doesn’t have to be your responsibility, after all it’s not like it’s a living thing, just a fetus, there is a free clinic in town, helps college kids like this all the time, aside from the mother filling out papers his name never has to be mentioned. This sort of thing happens, no need bringing an unwanted child into this world, no need to struggle.
Susan is pushing her legs out, stretching; she is growing, oblivious to the events already in motion that will affect her tiny life in just 12 hours. Guiltless yet inconvenient.
Sitting on the side of the bed Laura is crying, had she given away the only chance she ever had at having a baby years ago? They have been trying for over four years now, is this punishment for the decision she made years earlier coming home to roost? Why is God punishing her? They have been going to church, they prayed about it. Is she to blame for all this?
John’s life was going great, finally promoted to Manager of Sales, in five or 10 more years the dealership would be his, why is Laura beating herself up over this, this is what she wanted wasn’t it? We could always adopt couldn’t we? Why can’t we have children?
Jane met Peter while he was stationed with the Army in Belgium. She was a linguist and he was a military policeman. Peter was from a small town in the northeast; Jane’s father was a military man, taking his family with him around the world. Soon they were engaged and Jane was pregnant.
Jane’s father made sure that Peter was a man of his word; he and Jane were married in the base chapel. Peter was going back stateside soon with a wife with one on the way. Soon Peter was making plans to leave the service; both he and Jane made their home not far from where he grew up, there was never any discussion of not having the baby or not getting married.
Medically speaking after her second child, the doctors warned them that any future pregnancies should be considered carefully; Jane had high blood pressure and would most certainly put herself and the baby at risk.
From the onset Jane was ordered on bed rest, she was placed in the high risk category. Pete dismissed this, Jane was a trooper, beside after two girls, and Jane was finally pregnant with a boy. But problems were just starting. Jane was bleeding, doctors feared that the baby would have to be aborted to save Jane, if she started bleeding during delivery they might not get it stopped if she carried to term; the odds were greatly stacked against them.
Pete’s partner at the security firm told him he was praying for them, although other than when they were married Jane and Pete never attended church, their future was in their own hands; life was what they made of it.
Susan’s hips are pressing down again, causing Mary to run to the bathroom for the hundredth time today, Mary cried as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, what was the future going to hold for them?
Joseph Anthony was born on a mild November evening in 1989. He would be the only boy child for Peter and Jane. He would have four sisters, two older and two younger. Joe would be something special his father declared! Just you watch and see.
John and Laura sat in amazement as they each held the tiny hands of their newborn daughter. God must have heard their prayers and given them the child they so long waited for, he had forgiven them for the sin they committed years ago. He was no longer holding them accountable for it.
Susan was causing Laura discomfort, her lower back was paining her something fierce, almost like cramps, what I can expect? How does any woman endure this for 9 months? I wonder how Joe will feel. Should I tell him? No way, this is my body; he would make the same choice if he had to carry this child, right?
In ten hours Susan will be at the center of the attention as she lay there in her mother’s womb, helpless, unarmed, at the mercy of a bitter battle.
The little girl John and Laura held hands with seemed to grow up overnight, one minute holding tea parties with her stuffed animals, the next clinging to her mother’s shoulder as they mourned the loss of her grandmother to cancer. Mary will be a doctor someday, she promised her grandmother.
Mary was rushed to the hospital that
evening, she was bleeding internally, Joe was beside her, he had stopped by her
apartment to see her, even though it was late, he needed to speak with her, he
had to talk with her, now this.
John and Laura found themselves in
the surreal moment of driving through traffic late at night, the call came from
the hospital, the doctor was explaining her blood pressure was good and the transfusions
seemed to be holding, but someone would have to make a decision about the baby
soon. What baby?
Joe was crying and his father could
barely understand him, something about a baby and some girl named Mary, all
they knew was he needed them. The drive would take just under 4 hours.
Little Susan never experienced
so much as an ache or pain, she was calm, unaware of all the excitement and the
danger she and her mother were in medically. Six hours left.
John and Laura arrived at the
hospital and were escorted in to see their precious daughter, their only
daughter. Memories of seeing her mother in the hospital came flooding back for
this once brave unstoppable Irish woman.
There in the bed of this small
hospital lay their daughter, hooked up to machines that were keeping their
daughter alive. How could this have happened, we just spoke to her earlier in
the day, she was fine, what happened.
They listened as the doctor
explained the medical terms and condition, their daughter had lost a tremendous
amount of blood, the placenta was separating from the wall of the uterus.
Surely the baby would be lost if they didn’t deliver the premature child in the
next hour, if nothing was done they would both perish.
John was staring out the window, his
wife beside him when Peter and Jane arrived to find their son, on his knees in
the hospital chapel, he was crying, his parents placed their arms around him as
he tried as best he could to explain what had happened.
The time had come, no more can be
done, the doctors gave John and Laura them very little chance the baby would
survive, it may have been without blood for too long, or perhaps suffered
brain damage, either way it’s chances of survival would be slim if at all, best
for them to keep the focus on their daughter and her health, she would need
more than medical help once through this.
There in the early morning hours of
a mild April morning, a life was spared; the life of their only daughter was
given back to them. Joe was holding Mary’s hand, his face buried against the
bed, he felt her grip his hand, and they began crying as they looked at one
another. What an emotional roller coaster they have been on for the past
several hours.
Dawn was breaking as the doctor came
in. He was asking Mary questions, it all seemed surreal. What had happened? The
doctor began to explain as their parents came in. He was explaining options
open to them, the baby was on a ventilator, there would be risks and a long
road ahead, there were medical insurance forms to sign or they could opt for
adoption.
Little Susan dreamt of butterflies
and pink fluffy clouds, she had entered the world in the most inconvenient way.
Her mother and father would be inconvenienced, their lives interrupted, Laura
was weeping as Mary and her spoke, Laura began to tell her daughter
about a secret she has held for over 25 years.
Tony was putting on a new shirt as
he got ready for his date with Donna his girlfriend, humming a song…maybe
tonight would be the night, completely…he’s been waiting so long…
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Walk Home
Not so much as a whisper, not a whimper, a calm unlike anything being felt before. Coming to terms with going home. Sometimes the walk is short sometimes much longer than what we could ever imagine, everyone starting at the same and ending in the same place.
I am speaking of course of dying. I met Margaret's daughter in the hallway on the sixth floor of the hospital. Wringing her hands, pain in her eyes, her mother not good as she explained to a friend in the hallway. Getting ready to leave, I stopped to talk with her, she seemed so distraught. .
We prayed. We spoke about her mothers prognosis. A deadly lung disease, pulmonary fibrosis, just diagnosed. Devastation would describe the pain I saw in her eyes.
Meeting Margaret was an absolute delight, I could see her concern more for her daughter and the others family members present than with her own well being. What good would it do to worry about something you can't see, but feel. Death comes for all of us eventually, some more tragically than others, for some it's as easy as just falling asleep.
Walking someone home is a privilege. Not easy, for those who don't understand the freedom we experience with God's saving grace it seems pointless to encourage those who are given only a short period to remain here in our present form. I often find critics where there should be those giving hope, not unrealistic to expect God to spare some for the greater glory yet to come. It's not cruel to give someone a smile and nod, to acknowledge the fact they realize their days are numbered, but imagine if you will if they lived their lives never knowing when, just knowing it will happen. Knowing this they live their life for Christ....
What great sacrifice than to give our life so others may live. Ours is here in this form is pitifully short, not to be squandered, God has a purpose for us being here after all, we are the living testament to the power of his love that no matter how bad the diagnosis, there is always hope. What greater opportunity for Margaret and her family than to show others that are around them that God has a purpose for us right up and through the very end.
God does not hate us when our life ends here on this planet, we will be back when we rise again in the new heaven as on earth as in heaven. No more wars, no more fears, no more hate, no more sickness, no more death. Surely peace and goodness shall follow us all the remaining days.
I saw the power of God's love in Margaret's face this afternoon as we parted for the last time, she was up and walking, determining how she would finish her chores here, not to be defined by a lung illness that will claim her, be strong and live boldly Margaret, I pray those that read this will take heed and carry just a small part of your courage with them in their challenges in the days ahead.
See you when I get home as well. I pray your journey will be peaceful, may the great Sheppard make your paths straight. I will continue to pray for you an your family. Peace be with you sister.
I am speaking of course of dying. I met Margaret's daughter in the hallway on the sixth floor of the hospital. Wringing her hands, pain in her eyes, her mother not good as she explained to a friend in the hallway. Getting ready to leave, I stopped to talk with her, she seemed so distraught. .
We prayed. We spoke about her mothers prognosis. A deadly lung disease, pulmonary fibrosis, just diagnosed. Devastation would describe the pain I saw in her eyes.
Meeting Margaret was an absolute delight, I could see her concern more for her daughter and the others family members present than with her own well being. What good would it do to worry about something you can't see, but feel. Death comes for all of us eventually, some more tragically than others, for some it's as easy as just falling asleep.
Walking someone home is a privilege. Not easy, for those who don't understand the freedom we experience with God's saving grace it seems pointless to encourage those who are given only a short period to remain here in our present form. I often find critics where there should be those giving hope, not unrealistic to expect God to spare some for the greater glory yet to come. It's not cruel to give someone a smile and nod, to acknowledge the fact they realize their days are numbered, but imagine if you will if they lived their lives never knowing when, just knowing it will happen. Knowing this they live their life for Christ....
What great sacrifice than to give our life so others may live. Ours is here in this form is pitifully short, not to be squandered, God has a purpose for us being here after all, we are the living testament to the power of his love that no matter how bad the diagnosis, there is always hope. What greater opportunity for Margaret and her family than to show others that are around them that God has a purpose for us right up and through the very end.
God does not hate us when our life ends here on this planet, we will be back when we rise again in the new heaven as on earth as in heaven. No more wars, no more fears, no more hate, no more sickness, no more death. Surely peace and goodness shall follow us all the remaining days.
I saw the power of God's love in Margaret's face this afternoon as we parted for the last time, she was up and walking, determining how she would finish her chores here, not to be defined by a lung illness that will claim her, be strong and live boldly Margaret, I pray those that read this will take heed and carry just a small part of your courage with them in their challenges in the days ahead.
See you when I get home as well. I pray your journey will be peaceful, may the great Sheppard make your paths straight. I will continue to pray for you an your family. Peace be with you sister.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Wind in my Hair
The wind is like the breathe of God, washing our hair, our clothes, our faces. Refreshed, renewed, revived.
His touch is gentle and harsh, like the love of a parent, more understanding than anything we've ever defined in a word or a feeling.
His love surrounds us, even when we don't feel it, he is there, in all things there is life.
His touch is gentle and harsh, like the love of a parent, more understanding than anything we've ever defined in a word or a feeling.
His love surrounds us, even when we don't feel it, he is there, in all things there is life.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Collateral Damage
Since the dawn of mankind there has been fallout from decisions mankind has made, whether it was wrong or not, whether it was well intended or not, whether it was deliberate or not, whether it was done for the common good or not, whether it seemed like a good idea at the time or not, whether we were tempted or not....
Let's look at it this way, we are all failures in one way or another. I am both ashamed and not ashamed to admit it. If I had been a better financial genius maybe both my daughters would have attended ivy league schools, maybe if I had been a better husband my wife would not worry as much, if I was a better boss maybe those who work with me would be more eager to come to work each day....this could be a big list.
So whats the point? In everything we do there is some form of collateral damage involved, no matter the intent of our decisions, steak instead of fish for dinner might add unnecessary fat to our blood stream, making time for God an flexible commitment, you know for other more important things....getting closer to the point here, not much further. Keep reading.
How do we value time with God less than anything else in existence. Consider the enormity of consequences we incur, that collateral damage thing again, when we do not place time with God above and foremost of all the things we do each day, dang you mean I should do this everyday???
Go to your nearest graveyard, look at the names of those laying in rest there. Consider what they might say about spending at least one more second in God's presence, oh sure you might have time, after all you know you'll have plenty of time, right? No one ever dies suddenly, you'd sense these things, and after all you are a christian, you go to church almost every Sunday, you pray when you can.
If you believe Jesus, the Son of God turned to prayer, and so did Moses, so did Paul, so did John. Shouldn't this be telling us something? Is prayer something we don't have time for right now? You collateral damage leaves behind a legacy for family and friends.
Just as a boat traveling through the water leaves behind it a distinctive wake, collateral damage, we do as well. Collateral damage effects all of us. Make your choice wisely.
Let's look at it this way, we are all failures in one way or another. I am both ashamed and not ashamed to admit it. If I had been a better financial genius maybe both my daughters would have attended ivy league schools, maybe if I had been a better husband my wife would not worry as much, if I was a better boss maybe those who work with me would be more eager to come to work each day....this could be a big list.
So whats the point? In everything we do there is some form of collateral damage involved, no matter the intent of our decisions, steak instead of fish for dinner might add unnecessary fat to our blood stream, making time for God an flexible commitment, you know for other more important things....getting closer to the point here, not much further. Keep reading.
How do we value time with God less than anything else in existence. Consider the enormity of consequences we incur, that collateral damage thing again, when we do not place time with God above and foremost of all the things we do each day, dang you mean I should do this everyday???
Go to your nearest graveyard, look at the names of those laying in rest there. Consider what they might say about spending at least one more second in God's presence, oh sure you might have time, after all you know you'll have plenty of time, right? No one ever dies suddenly, you'd sense these things, and after all you are a christian, you go to church almost every Sunday, you pray when you can.
If you believe Jesus, the Son of God turned to prayer, and so did Moses, so did Paul, so did John. Shouldn't this be telling us something? Is prayer something we don't have time for right now? You collateral damage leaves behind a legacy for family and friends.
Just as a boat traveling through the water leaves behind it a distinctive wake, collateral damage, we do as well. Collateral damage effects all of us. Make your choice wisely.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
My Sabbatical Journey
This weekend will mark the beginning of a journey for me, a spiritual awaken, rest, rehab, refit, rearm, okay you get the point. After talking to a few men I love and respect; sometimes taking small steps is a good thing. Time to turn inward in my daily reflections, rid myself of the vices, (constant electronic companions, Galaxy Tablet, MP3, blue tooth, cell phone, whatever else I unknowingly turn on and pickup and use almost every hour.
Aside from the constant feeds of updates from Facebook and You Tube. I am stepping away from come parts of lay ministry. In this new year I wanted to budget time for reflection as well as for ministry in a better, healthier manner, which I am doing.
So there you have the beginning of a journey in a few short paragraphs; In six months I prayerfully expect to be a better steward of my time, new focus on ministry, (juggling more than just one outreach), healthier physically and morally, remember loosing some of those vices, (aggghhh no 4 G!!!), yep already feeling much better.
Be blessed. Will continue this thread until we meet back on FB in the fall, just in time for some Happy Valley Magic....be well and be at peace...
PointMan Jim
Aside from the constant feeds of updates from Facebook and You Tube. I am stepping away from come parts of lay ministry. In this new year I wanted to budget time for reflection as well as for ministry in a better, healthier manner, which I am doing.
So there you have the beginning of a journey in a few short paragraphs; In six months I prayerfully expect to be a better steward of my time, new focus on ministry, (juggling more than just one outreach), healthier physically and morally, remember loosing some of those vices, (aggghhh no 4 G!!!), yep already feeling much better.
Be blessed. Will continue this thread until we meet back on FB in the fall, just in time for some Happy Valley Magic....be well and be at peace...
PointMan Jim
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Diary of a Mad Man
For some it may be fairly easy to let go. While for others it takes quite a bit more effort. I fall into the last of these two categories. For the past 5 months, I have experienced one of the most dreadful situations someone can encounter. The murder of a family member, in this case my sister.
It isn't just the shock of losing my eldest sister, it wasn't because we had built up a 25 yr old wall between us -- neither of us speaking to one another, for me it was because aside from all this, someone willingly took her life by choice. For me the hard part of letting go was the anger, I was unprepared.
Up until a few weeks ago I was consumed most days of how I would exact revenge on not just the man, but on any remaining members of his immediate family. I wanted him to know how this pain felt. For me the several month journey was in bad company, everyday.
All the while God was sending forth those who could help me, I was just as busy pushing them away, too blinded by the rage I felt inside. Too short sighted to see the blessing he had given the rest of us if we would just open our eyes. Open our hearts to his comfort, his love for us.
A very good friend, finally gave me the last piece of advice I needed to hear on the matter. Nothing I can do from this point on will bring her back to life or change the tragic ending to her life. Punishment on this earth is up to those in law enforcement and the courts, but know this now that a much higher court of accountability lays in store for each and everyone of us, the court of God.
Basically it goes something like this, if I do not distance myself from this and truely forgive and forget this man's trespasses against my sister and her children, then where does this leave me. I am guilty of the same, robbing God of his gift of forgiveness.
Forgiveness sets free the anger from within, which entraps my ability to forgive the smaller day to day things that we are all mostly guilty of; cutting someone off in traffic, or getting angry at someone who made us mad at work, or maybe it was our spouse who doesn't seem to understand us. Everything seems to get added in.
Rather than concentrating on what the problem is or where it is at, I find the better solution for me, is to concentrate on where the answer is. To turn our attention to the voice of our shepard, his words heal the hurt, calm the stormy sea that rages around us, encourages us, loves us, unconditionally, no matter how far or near we stray, a great celebration is at hand when we entrust ourselves to the hands of our shepard.
Society as we once knew it no longer exists with its civility towards one another, moral decay has eroded most of what we knew growing up or which commonly existed in the old neighborhoods, not even our church communities have escaped the decay.
It's never too late to turn our eyes toward our shepard, slow down and take his hand, feel the comfort and security, know the power of their love in all its abundence. Anger is an energy robber, steals all breath from all endeavors, work, home, or recreation. Turn your ears towards the horn of our savior, he is calling us.
No longer consumed by anger, no longer a slave to being mad at everything, being mindful that there will always be temptations, I do not have be a victem to them, I have a choice to take ahold of my shepards hand and go in peace or wage war with a dead man.
It isn't just the shock of losing my eldest sister, it wasn't because we had built up a 25 yr old wall between us -- neither of us speaking to one another, for me it was because aside from all this, someone willingly took her life by choice. For me the hard part of letting go was the anger, I was unprepared.
Up until a few weeks ago I was consumed most days of how I would exact revenge on not just the man, but on any remaining members of his immediate family. I wanted him to know how this pain felt. For me the several month journey was in bad company, everyday.
All the while God was sending forth those who could help me, I was just as busy pushing them away, too blinded by the rage I felt inside. Too short sighted to see the blessing he had given the rest of us if we would just open our eyes. Open our hearts to his comfort, his love for us.
A very good friend, finally gave me the last piece of advice I needed to hear on the matter. Nothing I can do from this point on will bring her back to life or change the tragic ending to her life. Punishment on this earth is up to those in law enforcement and the courts, but know this now that a much higher court of accountability lays in store for each and everyone of us, the court of God.
Basically it goes something like this, if I do not distance myself from this and truely forgive and forget this man's trespasses against my sister and her children, then where does this leave me. I am guilty of the same, robbing God of his gift of forgiveness.
Forgiveness sets free the anger from within, which entraps my ability to forgive the smaller day to day things that we are all mostly guilty of; cutting someone off in traffic, or getting angry at someone who made us mad at work, or maybe it was our spouse who doesn't seem to understand us. Everything seems to get added in.
Rather than concentrating on what the problem is or where it is at, I find the better solution for me, is to concentrate on where the answer is. To turn our attention to the voice of our shepard, his words heal the hurt, calm the stormy sea that rages around us, encourages us, loves us, unconditionally, no matter how far or near we stray, a great celebration is at hand when we entrust ourselves to the hands of our shepard.
Society as we once knew it no longer exists with its civility towards one another, moral decay has eroded most of what we knew growing up or which commonly existed in the old neighborhoods, not even our church communities have escaped the decay.
It's never too late to turn our eyes toward our shepard, slow down and take his hand, feel the comfort and security, know the power of their love in all its abundence. Anger is an energy robber, steals all breath from all endeavors, work, home, or recreation. Turn your ears towards the horn of our savior, he is calling us.
No longer consumed by anger, no longer a slave to being mad at everything, being mindful that there will always be temptations, I do not have be a victem to them, I have a choice to take ahold of my shepards hand and go in peace or wage war with a dead man.
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